Monday, June 11, 2007


originally posted May 31, 2006:

I just realized that I should probably be ashamed and embarrassed about being a birth mom? Really??? Why???

Maybe some birth moms feel that way, but I don't. I honestly am not ashamed or embarrassed about giving Baby M up for adoption. Why should I be? What did I do wrong? I decided to give her what I knew that I couldn't. The only thing that I could give Baby M was and still is Love. But that does not over come everything and it does not cure all.

Am I proud to be a birth mom? Well that's a two-edged sword...because I am not ashamed of it either. Its just who I am now and who I always will be.

I am proud that Baby M has the most wonderful parents in the world.
I am proud that she is beautiful and happy.
I am proud that she is a part of me.
I am proud that we made the correct decision for us.

Help me out here...are any of you embarrassed because you are a birth/first mom?

1 comment:

etropic said...

The only times I am embarrassed about saying I'm a birthmom is when I am dealing with someone who has NO IDEA of what open adoption is. They look at you as if you have just grown another head spontaneously. Then I tend to have 1 of 2 responses: First, I opt to give the whole "Open adoption is.." speech & try to educate them in 10 minutes or less. Second reaction is usually along the lines of chastising them for being so narrow minded and presumptive. I can usually tell by the person's demeanor & body language,which it will be in a matter of seconds. Lately it's been the later of the 2. It truly gets tiresome to say the least.

For me I haven't been embarrassed as much as I have always had a reminder in some shape or form that I'm a "birthmom". Mother's Day is & always will be a constant reminder. One day in particular was when I went in for my post parteum exam & had to fill out paperwork. The line where it asks How many children really got me thinking. Am I suppose to put "yes" I have HAD a child or "no" I don't have any children(since he isn't here with me now) We birthmothers ALWAYS have to explain our "situation." (If we don't then it is as if we are denying that child's existence, IMO) There simply isn't enough room on that line to write about adoption & why I cam here today for my postpartum exam minus my baby being with me. True to form, that was the first question I was asked too as I got back to the examination room. Most days, I just don't feel like being a birthmom. I'm so much more than that. I just want to be me..minus any & all labels.