Originally posted May 12, 2006:
I have to clarify about my "courageous" comments in yesterday blog.
This particular woman I am speaking about is NOT being courageous, she is being selfish, ridiculous and impatient (the exact words of J). She has EXACTING specifications for what she wants in a birthmother and baby (since when can you order a person?). She is not willing to budge and does not think of the birthmother as a mother, but as the woman that is delivering HER child.
Are there woman/men that are courageous adopters? Those that take on special needs or orphaned children are courageous. Those that adopt selflessly and without expectation are courageous. Those that stand behind and beside the birth family, including them in the events of their child's life are courageous.
The parents of Baby M are courageous in my book. They took the risk of adoption with minimal expectation. They lost two children and were able to find it in there hearts to try to adopt (and risk a failed adoption). B & J have set a standard in my mind for adoption that I think should be outlined and followed. They are selfless, loving people that have made my journey of loosing Baby M much easier and less stressful. This is what, I believe, domestic adoption requires. Just because you are (in a sense) "buying" a baby, it does not discount the person that is GIVING you the baby. Because believe me, I didn't receive a DIME of the money that B & J paid for Baby M. However, B & J (as well as their families) were (and still are) generous to a fault!!!
This woman is NOT courageous, she is selfish and close minded. I don't feel that I should post her blog, but if you would like to see it and give an opinion, please email me and I will forward you the link.
My anger is diminishing....finally.