Originally posted May 24, 2006:
I have found several birthmother blogs over the last week and I am so glad to see that I am not the only one that is struggling. I no longer feel so alone and desperate. I feel like there are people that actually understand me and understand what I am going through. Maybe its wrong...but it feels better to know that there are others out there that know what I am dealing with...it helps.
My biggest regret in the whole adoption process is that I didn't find a birthmother to talk to before I had Baby M. That I went through it blind and buried my feelings for two years. Now that I have found several that seem to echo my same issues and sentiments, it feels easier.
My anger is dissipating (and this time I think for good). I am facing the hurt, the guilt, the regrets and the pains head on, instead of burying it. It doesn't feel as bad as I thought it would. It doesn't feel good...but it doesn't feel bad.
I am going to put some links up of other birthmothers to visit. They are wonderful, supportive and caring woman that have traveled relatively the same journey is me.
I also found a really cool woman that is trying to adopt and I LOVE her points of view and the way she writes about adoption. Doesn't make me want to stab her in the eye like the "other" one does.
Thank you to everyone who is consoling me in this journey through my madness....I appreciate all the comments and support.